Observe Your Opponent, Don't Listen to Them 觀察你的對手，別聽他們的
12:28
justify the person's behavior and they almost kind of Gaslight themselves to
為那人的行為辯護，甚至在某種程度上對自己進行煤氣燈效應嗎?
12:33
some degree they say well maybe not maybe that's fine maybe they are a friend
他們會說，嗯，也許不是這樣、也許沒關係，也許他們是朋友，
maybe they they're just doing that for my best interest whereas really
也許他們做那件事只是為了我好，然而事實上
12:39
that bad actor is acting in their interests and kind of gaslighting you and then you're
壞行為者只是在為自己的利益行動，甚至對你進行煤氣燈效應，接著你也
Gaslighting
對自己進行煤氣燈效應。
12:45
yourself I think it's one thing is you don't you don't go from zero to 100 overnight
我認為，這是，關鍵的是，你不會在一夜之間從零到一百，
when you're
當你在
12:52
in a relationship or you're with around people who are like that in in the beginning
一段關係之中，或是你周遭有這樣的人。在一開始
you don't see it right
你察覺不出來，對吧？
12:58
everyone's got their best Behavior but over time you'll start to see little
每個人都有他們自己最好的一面，但隨著時間過去，你會開始看到片段的
13:03
like sneak peeks little previews and it's those previews you want to pay attention to
像是搶先看、預告，那些預告是你應該去注意的。
we like to give
我們在
13:10
people the benefit of the doubt we listen to the excuses that they give us and you
證據不足時，傾向相信人們的清白，我們聽信他們給的藉口。你知道
know there's this ancient Greek
有個古老的希臘諺語：
13:15
saying that says don't listen to your opponent look at them it will tell you
不要聽你的對手說什麼，你要看著他們，它會告訴你
13:21
everything and when I say look at them look at what people do I need you to
一切，當我說看著他們，是指去看看人們的行為舉止。我需要你去
13:26
drum out what they're telling you I I need you to drum out their I am sorries because
屏除他們跟你說的話，我需要你去屏除他們說的對不起，因為，
they probably are they've hurt
他們可能是真心的。他們傷害了
13:34
you and they are probably genuinely sorry that's not the point the point is
你，他們可能真的很抱歉，但這不是重點。重點是
13:40
when do you want to learn your lesson in the beginning or at the end and at the
你想在何時學到教訓，最一開始，還是最後？
13:46
end sometimes it's very very very hard you know I have a community and I started
最後的話，有時它會非常、非常地困難。你知道，我有個社群，我在
after I did the book and when
寫完這本書之後開始的，當
13:53
people started writing in I said you know what let me do this community I'll call it
人們開始來信時，我說：讓我建立這個社群！我會命名為
Beyond bulletproof and whoever signs up and it you know two years in
超越身心防彈，任何人都可以註冊。兩年後
14:02
have 800 members and we a lot of people come in with different scenarios and
有八百位會員，而且我們，很多人帶著不同的情境進來，
they'll come in with and it's almost
他們會帶來，幾乎
14:08
always the scenario they come in with if there's something like this it's somebody
總是帶來這樣的情境，設想有某事像是，他們和某人
that they're tied
有牽連，
14:14
to that's just sinking them sinking them and sometimes they're the Sinker and
這將他們拖累、拖累他們，但有時他們才是那個拖累者，
14:21
they think it's the other person so sometimes you're the bad actor and you don't
他們卻認為是其他人。就這樣，有時你是個壞行為者，但你
even realize it so you
甚至沒有意識到。因此，你
14:28
need to figure out two things am I the one doing things that's not just hurting myself
需要釐清兩件事：我是那個做事不僅傷害自己，
but other people but
也傷害別人，甚至
14:34
I've Justified it to myself in pursuit of whatever self-interest I have or am I tied to
為了追求自身利益幫自己辯解的人嗎？我有被拖累我的某人束縛嗎？
14:41
someone who's pulling me down I'm going to tell you something Stephen I sat across
我要告訴你一些事，史蒂芬。我曾坐在
people who did a lot of different
做了很多不同
14:46
things some serious crimes some not so serious every single person sold it to
事的人們對面，有些是嚴重的犯罪、有些是沒那麼嚴重的。每一個人都把藉口賣給
14:52
themsel why they did what they did we're sellers I can justify anything
他們自己，為什麼他們會做那種事的藉口。我們都是銷售者，我可以為自己辯解任何事，
14:58
too myself if I want to they were turning themselves into I guess victims
如果我想要的話。他們將他們自己轉變為，我猜測，處境下的受害者。
15:03
of situations why I do that well you know good people make bad choices good
為什麼我會那樣做？嗯，你知道，好人會做不好的選擇，
15:09
people make mistakes the problem is sometimes the consequences of those
好人會犯錯，問題是，有時那些錯誤的後果
mistakes they last but you can't vouch
會持續很久，但你無法
15:16
for anybody cuz you don't know who people are behind closed doors you don't and
為任何人做擔保，因為你不知道他們私底下會是怎樣的人，你不知道！再者，
two anybody is capable of anything
任何人在任何時間點都有可能做任何事，
15:24
at any given moment in time if given the opportunity if if you understand that
只要有機會的話。如果你明白這點，
15:30
you will not be surprised or shocked by anything or anyone it's not that it's a morbid
你就不會感到驚訝或是震驚，對任何事或任何人。這並不是對人們的病態看法，
view
15:37
of people it's understanding people are malleable they're susceptible some more
而是明白人們是有可塑性的、是容易受影響的。有些人特別如此。
than others some may have a either
有些人可能有
15:46
stronger Integrity or more I don't even think it's Integrity it's just a stronger hold on
更強的正直，或是更多的……我根本不認為那是正直，那只是更強的自制力，
themselves to say yes I
能夠說出：是的，我
15:51
won't do this no I won't do this um and then some people are a bit more malleable
不會做這件事！不，我不會做這件事！嗯，此外，有些人們有更多一點的可塑性，
like it's easier to get to
像是更容易說服
15:58
them it's e EAS e to manipulate them it's easier to mold them to do other things it's
他們、更容易操控他們、更容易塑造他們去做其他事、
easier to get them to sway
更容易讓他們朝
16:04
in a Direction but if you understand that then you you understand human behavior
某個方向動搖，如果你理解這點，那麼你就能理解人類行為。
