The People You Associate With Can Impact You 和你來往的人會對你產生影響
9:24
don't I I'm going to use this term bad actor in your life that bad actor can be Mom
不、我。我打算用這個詞，壞行為者在你的生命中，壞行為者可能是媽媽、
Dad sibling brother it can be
爸爸、兄弟姊妹、兄弟，它可以是
9:30
anybody you can love that bad actor but the choices and the things
任何人。你可以愛那個壞行為者，但那個人所做的選擇和事情
9:36
that that person does impacts you it makes you more vulnerable even if when
都會影響到你，它會讓你更脆弱，甚至是當
9:42
you look at even if you just look at crime well they did they've done a lot
你觀察、儘管你只是觀察犯罪。嗯，他們做了許多
9:47
of different studies and what they found is even let's say if I don't commit
不同的研究，他們所發現的是……儘管，這麼說好了，即使我沒有犯罪，
9:53
crime but I'm around other people who commit crime I am more likely to be shot
但當我在其他犯罪的人們身邊時，我遭受槍擊的可能性
9:59
than any other population of people I could not be involved in any nefarious activity
會比其他群體來得更高。我可能沒有參與任何窮凶惡極的活動，
at all I could be clean but
我可能很清白，但
10:06
simply because of who I associate with that makes me more vulnerable to being
簡單地因為我接觸了某人，使得我更加脆弱、
10:13
uh to becoming a victim so that's what where you start who's around you now
變成一個受害者，因此，這就是你開始的地方——檢視你身邊的人。現在，
10:18
other really important things whoever you pick for your companion if you have one
另一件很重要的事，不管你選擇誰來陪伴你，如果你有一個的話，
it's huge that companion is either
這很重要，同伴
10:26
going to raise you up or they're going to sink your ship down and is that in the real
可以提升你，也可能拖你下水。是指現實世界中的
world best friends husbands
摯友、丈夫、
10:31
wives if we're talking I would say first intimate partner whatever that is to you
妻子嗎?假如我們談論，我會說是最親密的伴侶，不論對你來說那會是誰，
10:37
husband wife boyfriend girlfriend whatever that is companion that's number one
丈夫、妻子、男友、女友，不管是誰，只要是陪伴你的人，那是最重要的，
because that's the person here's the
因為就是這個人，這裡有個
10:42
difference between a a like a partner and a a friend your friend goes home to their
不同之處，伴侶和朋友之間，你的朋友會回到他們自己的
home you go to your home a
家，而你會回到你自己的家，
10:49
companion or partner you probably live with them that means you are so overly
但一名陪伴者或是伴侶，你很有可能和他們住在一起，這代表你是如此地過度
10:55
exposed to that person and you need to make Dam am well sure that that person
暴露在他影響之下，你必須該死的有把握那個人
11:02
is not contaminating your life you can still love them but you can step back and look
不會汙染你的生活，你還是可以愛他們，但你可以後退，並去檢視
at there's a problem here that
有個問題在這裡，
11:10
this person's stuff is contaminating my life and it's a hard thing to do for
這人的本質在污染我的生活，這樣做對群體來說是很困難的事，
11:15
folks because this is why you're with someone it's like okay I'm with Evie but
這正是為什麼，你和某人在一起就像，好吧！我和艾維在一起，但
11:21
you know Evie is this and Evie is that and so you start to blend my identity with my
你知道，艾維這樣、艾維那樣，因此你開始將我（指艾維）的身分和
behavior and then over the time
行為混合在一起，隨時間也跟著過去，
11:27
too you normalize the things I do if I'm a bad actor well Evie didn't mean it she's
你認為我所做的事稀鬆平常，儘管我是壞的行為者。嗯，艾維也不是有意的，她
always hotheaded you know she's
總是很急躁，你知道她就是
11:34
this but she did all these nice things for me here and then what we do is we miss
這樣，但她為我做了所有這些很棒的事，接著我們所做的事是，我們忽略
stuff that's why it's easier for
本質，這就是為何
11:40
you to look at somebody else's relationship and be like hey problem here problem
你去觀察其他人的人際關係時更容易，會像這樣：嘿！有問題、這裡有問題、
here problem here because
這也有問題。因為
11:46
you are not tainted by the emotional aspect of being
你並沒有被那人牽連而受到情感層面的汙染，
11:51
tied to that person you're able to look at them objectively this is why byon it's easy to
你有能力客觀地審視他們，這就是為何給
give other people advice I
他人意見很容易。我
11:57
can see the red flags in the issues in this person when you're in it you can't
可以看見危險警示，在這問題中、在這人身上，但當你身陷其中，你看不見、
12:02
it's hard so I would also venture to say people may not like this if you're with
這很難。所以我會冒險去說，儘管人們可能不喜歡這樣，如果你和
12:09
someone and there are people around you that you know legitimately care and love
某人在一起，有一群人在你身邊，你知道他們真正地關心並且愛
you and they're telling you hey not the
你，他們對你說：嘿！這
12:16
best thing for you I would say please listen because they are seeing something
對你來說不是最好的。我會說：請聽他們的建言！因為他們看到一些
12:22
that you might not be seeing do you think people just tend to know like in their gut
你可能沒看到的事。你認為人們其實知道，像是直覺地
they tend to know but they
他們有感覺到，但是他們
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